A DBT skill I think of (and use) quite often…
Early in my career, I intensively trained in DBT through Behavioral Tech. The training was targeted towards helping very high risk youth, though many of strategies taught were just as useful to us therapists, as they could be to our patients.
The skill “Opposite Action,” is one of those strategies that is taught in the “Emotion Regulation” portion of the training, that has really stuck with me. The skill involves moving towards or very actively engaging in the direct opposite action of what your feelings are directing you to do. We often wait for a feeling to change before we change our behavior, when actually you can change a feeling by first changing your behavior. For example, if I noticed a strong urge to avoid public speaking because of feelings of fear, then the work is to move towards more and more public speaking. Or if I felt guilty about a mistake I made and I noticed some avoidance or self-blame, I would work to make a repair.
Why is this skill not as simple as it seems? First, there is an element of identifying what it is that we are feeling. This can be very challenging, particularly when we are working hard at not feeling our emotions or are confused, because there are so many emotions happening at once (this is where more psychodynamic work can become useful). Second, we must assess the situation and determine whether our feelings are justified, considering the situation. For example, if I experience fear because I am in an unsafe situation, then I must use the fear as information and get myself into a safer situation. Though, if one is experiencing fear in a perfectly safe situation, then one must identify that and decide to take an action that is not in accordance with the fear, and in fact the opposite.
There is a three step process in order to engage in Opposite Action:
What am I feeling (considering emotions and urges)?
What is the nature of the situation I am in?
What action can I take based on what I know about what I am feeling and my current situation?
It may be interesting to see how one can apply these three questions to different areas of their lives, particularly when feeling stuck in a strong feeling or in patterns of avoidance.